Vera's Crazy Rants

LAYER ONE:
Spell your name with Bands/Singers

V- The Veronicas
E- Evenasences(sp...it's late)
R- Rascall Flatts
A-Aerosmith

LAYER TWO:

- Name: Vera to you =D
- Birthday: 7/27
- Nick Name: Vera, Ver, V, Kels, Kelki, Kelfie...K
- Location: Georgia
- Eye Color: Hazel
- Height: 5'3
- Right or Left: Right and left XD Write with my right, everything else with my left
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LAYER THREE:

- Shoes you wore today: Sneakers
- Your perfect pizza: Pep
- Best holiday: Christmas/Thanksgiving/New Year
- Most missed memory: Being healthy...and Ashley going to my school <3
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LAYER FOUR:

- How many pets do you have: 3
- If you got to go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: Everywhere...
- The last movie you saw at cinemas: I Am Legand <3 Amazing!!
- Who you went with: Ashley!
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LAYER FIVE:

- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
- McDonald's or Burger King: Depends on what I want...
- Addidas or Nike: I wear Addidas..but Nike is cool ^^
- Lipton Ice Tea or nestea: Lipton
- Chocolate or Vanilla: Depends...I like vanilla ice cream better, but I like chocolate cake more...
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LAYER SIX:
Do You

- Curse: Sometimes...^^;;
- Do you sing: Yuppers
- Get motion sickness: ...Not that I know of
- Think you're a health freak: I kind of have to be...XD
- Get along with your parents: Most of the time ^^
- Play an instrument: Guitar!!! Violin and Clairnet
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LAYER SEVEN:
In the past month have you

- Drank alcohol: Had a sip
- Gone to the mall: Yes.
- Eaten an entire pizza: NO.
- Been on stage: Nope.
- Gone skating: Yes!
- Made homemade cookies: Yes =3
- Kissed anyone: ...Besides my parents? XD
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LAYER EIGHT:
Have you ever

- Been in big trouble with your parents: Oh yes...o.o scary crap
- Lied about your age: No XD
- Used a fake ID: Nope.
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LAYER NINE:

- Age you hope to be married: Dunno...depends
- Number of Children: 2 or 3...depends
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LAYER TEN:
In a man / woman
Best eye color: Green/blue/chocolate brown
Best hair color: Black/brown/dirty blonde
Best quality: Funny, nice, outgoing, smart...etc etc
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LAYER ELEVEN:

- Number of people you could trust with your life right now: 3...
- Number of tattoos: . Nada.
- Number of piercings: Ears
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HISTORY:

00. Born in: Georgia
01. Raised in: Georgia
02. Planned baby: Is anyone really a planned kid? It's not like you are going to say "Tomorrow at 10:30 pm blah blah blah blah"
03. Birth date: Didn't you already ask this?
04. Youngest or oldest: Youngest
05. Hair length: To my chin XD
06. First school: Preschool XD It was right next door
07. Eye color: ...You already asked...
08. Shoe size:7/ 7 1/2
09. Mood: SLEEPY!!!
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LOVE LIFE:

-Do you remember your first real relationship:Sadly
-Shortest relationship: ....A week XD I don't think it was that long really
-Ever been heartbroken: Yes
-Are you liking/loving someone now: I love my friends XD
-Have you ever fallen for a friend: Nope. Actually, yes.
-Are you afraid of commitment: Depends...
-Do you believe in love at first sight: Well....XD If you saw a guy and you guys started getting to know each other and yadda yadda and fall in love then I guess that counts...but other than that no
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THIS OR THAT:

01. Love or money: Love. Obviously.
02. One night stands or relationships: Relationships.
03. TV or internet: Internet.
09. Family or friends: Both.
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HAVE YOU EVER:

01. Have you ever talked on the phone for over three hours?: Yes XD
02. Have you ever skinny dipped?: Nope
03. Have you ever done something you regret?: Nope ^^ I do not regret
04. Have you ever been on a house boat?: I think I have...can't rememebr
05. Have you ever finished a novel in a day?: Yes =)
06. Who are you missing?: ...Geno, Maz, Ashley (though she is right next to me) XD
07. Have you ever been streaking?: Yes when I was little XD
08. Have you ever fallen in public?: Yes XD
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ARE YOU:

01. Are you missing someone right now?: Didn't you already ask?!
02. Are you talking to someone?: Yeah XD
03. Are you Italian?: I dunno
04. Are you French?: Oui!
05. Are you Russian?: I dunno...
06. Are you a silly person? Hell yes XD
07. Are your parents still married?: Yes
08. Do you have a low self esteem?: ]Sometimes
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OTHER:

01. Do you get depressed about things easily?: Yeah
02. Do you live life to the fullest?: I try
03. Are you comfortable with the way you look?: Sometimes XD
05. How do you dress?: How the hell I wanna =D
06. Are you scared of growing up old and alone?: Yeah a bit...
07. What do you want to be when you grow up?: Dunno ^^ I might change my mind over and over
08. Favorite season?: Summer/fall
09. Favorite colors?: ^^ Black, green, red, blue, silver
10. What are you listening to?: What Hurts The Most by Rascall Flatts

Yes...I stole this survey from Maz XD Fear me...and my icon makes me laugh...and I want skittles now...greaaattt....

105 SECRETS.

1. Real name - Wouldn't you like to know ^-^
2. Like it - Love it ^^
3. Single or Taken - Single and I like it ^-^ (As do I, Maz XD)
4. Male or Female- Femaaaale
5. Zodiac Sign- Leo =) Rawr
6. Elementary - ....it was an ok elementary school XD
7. Middle - Oh bugger...<< bad memories there
8. High School - Homeschool XD
9. Eye color - Hazel
10. Hair color - dark brown almost black
15. Are you a health freak - A bit...I have a bad immune system, what do you think?
17. Do you have a crush on someone - Nope
18. Do you like yourself - Yeah, pretty much
19. Piercings - Earsies ^^
20. Tattoos - Haahha! I think they're sad XD Imagine being eighty and having them XD (...*starts laughing as she imagines herself at 80 with certain tattoos*)
21. Righty or Lefty - Both XD I was talking to my grandfather, asking him if I really can use both, and he said that I can sorta...seeing as I write with my right, but I do a lot more things with my left
FIRSTS-
22. First Surgery - ...I had something put in my ears...but I got my tonsils out
23. First Piercings - Earsies - 3-5 years old
25. First Trophy/Certificate - Soccer ^^
26. First Sport - Soccer XD
27. First Pet - Puppers and Bearbear...though really I should count Sonic..
28. First Holiday - ...Don't think a birthday counts as a holiday...or do you mean vacation? XD Thanksgiving...and first vacation was...somewhere

CURRENTLY-
49. Eating - I ate dinner a long time ago
51. I'm about to - type this answer...and get a drink
52. Listening to - the TV
53. Waiting for - my parents to come home so I can my mom to get me a drink
54. Wearing Clothes- PJs and hoodie(...Wow, we dress alike, Maz XD)

FUTURE
55. Want Kids - Yes =3
56. Want to Get Married - Well, it would be nice XD
67. Careers in Mind - ...Arty girl, Fashion, Marine Biologist, vet, teacher, doctor...XD Dunno which one to choose

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE PREFERED SEX ?
68. Lips or Eyes - Well...I like eyes...but both
69. Hugs or Kisses - Hugs =D
70. Shorter or Taller - Needs to be a bit taller...please XD
71. Tan Skinned or Light - Depends
72. Romantic or Spontaneous - Both XD
73. Dark or light Hair - Doesn't matter
74. Muscular or Normal - ...a bit of muscle would be nice
75. Hook-up or Relationship - Relationship, if you please
76. Similar to You or Different - Both ^^

HAVE YOU EVER-
78. Kissed a stranger - ...no, I don't think so...
82. Broken someones heart - ...Not really
83. Turned someone down - Yeah, yeah
84. Liked a friend as more than a friend - Yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself - Yeah
87. Miracles - Yes! I'm waiting!
89. Santa Claus - Oh yes XD I do...uh huh
91. Angels - ^^ Yup

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY-
92. Is there one or more people you want to be with right now? Yeah XD

LASTS-
95. Text message - Jessie
96. Recieved call - My mom
97. Call made - ...*goes to look* Mom XD
98. Comment on myspace - ...Aliya, I believe
99. Missed Call - Calley
100. Person you hung out with...no one
101. You hugged - my mom
104. You slapped - no one
105. Said I love you to - my mom

oh...the end

I read in Geno's journal entry about the gifts and stuff XD And she made me want to do the same thing so...yeah =D My list! Yay!

List of presents to get this Christmas:
--------------------------------------
Geno (^-^ And I know what to get her!
Maz (I might have to ask Geno what to get her XD)
Angel ( I know what to get her ^^ I might ask my mom if I can send her something)
Vera (^^ If my mom lets me...<< She better)
Jessie (...Dunno what to get her)
Lani( XD Book of quotes!)
Ashley (...I think I know what to get her)
Kelsey J (^^ I am going to get something for her)
Stephen (A comic anime thing...XD)
Who else...XD I might add on later...
9 people too XD

Bed time!

x = Somewhat
xx = Greater
xxx = huge enormous crippling omg fear

A
[ ] Achluophobia - Fear of darkness
[ ] Acrophobia - Fear of heights
[ ] Agliophobia - Fear of pain
[ ] Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds
[ ] Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects(XD Oh please, I give myself shots for crying out loud, do I sound like I'm scared of needles?)
[ ] Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car
[ ] Anatidaephobia - The fear, somewhere, some how, a duck is watching you (Whaaat? Oo; )
[ ] Androphobia - Fear of men
[ ] Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking
[ ] Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers
[x to a point...certain people, yes] Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society
[x] Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched (Certain places...I fear it...like my back...no pokey...)
[ ] Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders
[ ] Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers
[ ] Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning
[ ] Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness
[x] Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection (Certain things)
[xx] Atychiphobia - Fear of failure
[ ] Autophobia - Fear of being alone

B
[x] Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria(XD Certain ones, yes)
[ ] Barophobia - Fear of gravity
[x] Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes(I'm fine with it, as long as I'm not shakey...sometimes I worry that I will fall...that's it)
[ ] Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians
[ ] Bibliophobia - Fear of books
[ ] Botanophobia - Fear of plants

C
[ ] Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
[x] Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed publicly
[ ] Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors
[ ] Chionophobia - Fear of snow
[ ] Chromophobia - Fear of colors
[ ] Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks
[ ] Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces
[ ] Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns
[ ] Cyberphobia - Fear of computers
[ ] Cynophobia - Fear of dogs

D
[ ] Dendrophobia - Fear of trees
[ ] Dentophobia - Fear of dentists
[ ] Domatophobia - Fear of houses
[x] Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents

E
[x sometimes...] Ecophobia - Fear of the home
[ ] Elurophobia - Fear of cats
[ ] Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers
[ ] Equinophobia - Fear of horses

G
[ ] Gamophobia - Fear of marriage
[ ] Genuphobia - Fear of knees
[ ] Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public
[ ] Gynophobia - Fear of women

H
[ ] Heliophobia - Fear of the sun
[ ] Hemophobia - Fear of blood
[ ] Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles
[ ] Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words
[ ] Hydrophobia - Fear of water

I
[ ] Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors
[ ] Insectophobia - Fear of insects

K
[ ] Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms

L
[ ] Leukophobia - Fear of the color white
[x] Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes(When it gets really really windy...yes...cause of something that happened in the past)
[ ] Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth

M
[ ] Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking
[ ] Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
[ ] Microphobia - Fear of small things
[ ] Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs

N
[ ] Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things
[ ] Noctiphobia - Fear of the night
[ ] Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals

O
[x] Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight (^^;; I don't wanna get fat...XD)
[ ] Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8
[ ] Ombrophobia - Fear of rain
[ ] Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes
[ ] Ornithophobia - Fear of birds

P
[ ] Papyrophobia - Fear of paper
[ ] Parastitaphobia - Fear of Parasites
[x I fear not getting better...] Pathophobia - Fear of disease
[ ] Pedophobia - Fear of children
[ ] Philophobia - Fear of love
[ ] Phobophobia - Fear of being afraid
[ ] Podophobia - Fear of feet
[ ] Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple
[ ] Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns
[ ] Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of Flying
[ ] Pyrophobia - Fear of fire

S
[x] Scolionophobia - Fear of school (I fear certain things at school...)
[ ] Selenophobia - Fear of the moon
[ ] Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation
[ ] Somniphobia - Fear of sleep

T
[ ] Tachophobia - Fear of speed
[ ] Technophobia - Fear of technology
[ ] Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder
[ ] Trypanophobia - Fear of injections (Again, I give myself shots...XD)

V-Z
[ ] Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women
[ ] Verminophobia - Fear of germs (Wasn't this already on here?)
[ ] Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft
[x] Xenophobia - Fear of strangers (Only the creepy looking kind... XD)
[ ] Zoophobia - Fear of animals

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 people.
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

(I don't know if I bother to follow rule number 4...)

How are you feeling today?
Broken- By Seether feat. Amy Lee
Well yeah...I am feeling sad..."I want to hold you high and steal your pain away"


Will you get far in life?
"Everything You Want"- Vertical Herizon
...."Under skined knees and skin marks" XD Does that mean yes or no?


How do your friends see you?
"Memory"- Sugarcult
XD Umm..."Holding on to feel the same." Is that good or bad? You tell me


Will you get married?
"Sophmore Slump or Comeback of The Year"-Fall Out Boy
XD "Are we going up or just going down?" Umm...I think that means no...or it could mean yes


What is your best friend's theme song?
"Photogragh"- Nickelback
Hmm...XD Lemme think...Geno...I think it could mean something "How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head?" And it does say something for Ashley and Maz. "Life is better than it was back then"

What is the story of your life?
"Summer of '69"-Bryan Adams
I love this song! "When I look back now, that summer seemed to last forever, and if I had a choice, I would want to be there. Those were the best days of my last" I'm going to listen to this whole song before I answer the next question XD

What is high school like?
"Kryptonite"- 3 Doors Down
"I took a walk around to easy my trouble mind. I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time" That does kind of say something about it...and we do walk a lot....XD


How can you get ahead in life?
"When You're Gone"- Avril Lavigne
"When you're gone/The words I need to hear to always get me through the day/And make it OK" Sounds like it...


What is the best thing about your friends?
"Keep Holding On"- Avril Lavigne
"I'm here for you. There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do, there is no other way when it comes to the truth. So keep holding on. We'll make it through" Hmm...very true. My online friends do help me through a lot..."With you by my side, we'll fight and defend"


What is in store for this weekend?
"Frozen"- Within Temptation
"I just feel the cold. All colors seem to fade away. I can't reach soul, I would stop running, if I knew there was a chance, it tears me apart to sacrifice it all, but I'm forced to let go. Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do? Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you. When lies turn into truth" ^^;;; I don't think that is a good thing...


To describe your grandparents?
"Beauty From Pain"- Superchick
"And though i can't understand why this happened,I know that i will when i look back someday,And see how you've brought beauty from ashes,And made me as gold purified through these flames" Hmm...does describe my grandfather


How is your life going?
"This Ain't A Scene, It's A Arm Race"- Fall Out Boy
"I wrote the gospel of giving up(You look pretty sinking)But the real bombshells have already sunk" Meh...it sounds sorta like it


What song will they play at your funeral?
"Listen To Your Heat" D.H.T
XD Well, it does give good advice


Will you have a happy life?
"Love Like Winter"-AFI
XD Umm...is this good?



What do your friends really think of you? (Thought you already asked this question...)
"The Kill"- 30 seconds to mars
XD Umm...I don't think this is good...


Do people secretly lust after you?
"Better Than Me"-Hinder
Aww....;-;...so sweet XD

How can I make myself happy?
"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"-Fall Out Boy
XD "One night and one more time, thanks for the memories"

What should you do with your life?
"Here In Your Arms"- Hellogoodbye
XD Well, I guess that means I should fall in love


Will you ever have children?
"Here Without You"- 3 Doors Down
XD I think this is a yes

ugh, I'm so sick and tired of this week! Why can't it be over I ask you, why?! ...I keep thinking today is thursday for goodness sake! And I've gone to bed past 10 every single night! And I'm dead tired!

Anyway...<< on tues we had the fair...it was fine...and stuff, but when I started screaming for my team...my vision went blurry...like when you day dream, and I thought I was...then I was falling and I hit someone, then I "woke" up...it was terrible...it scared me to death...I had to hang on to Lani's arm just so to make sure I didn't fall again...

So I got my dress....I'm dead tired...blah, I have nothing to post...so excuse me *goes off to sleep*

I read Geno's entry from...I don't know when, it was, but it is in Maz's recent journal entry. I do have something to say about it, and more other things. And I'm going to speak my mind the best I can, I am on my sleep meds right now so yeah.

Geno, you and Maz have a relationship that I've never seen in my whole life...you two have som ethings in common, while at the same time you guys have such different points of veiws (Like Maz being Christain, you not being one). It's quite amazing honestly. You two fight a lot(well, used to anyway) and yet you two are like sisters (which I still can't believe people think you two are madly in love with each other in that way). Yes, I used to be quite jealous of the fact about how you two are best friends and everything, but I'm quite over that. I feel blessed that I have a realtionship with you and Maz anyway. And Maz, in case you are still worrying that I'm trying to steal Geno from you, I'm not. I'm very perfectly happy with mine and Geno's relationship and how it is, and I would rather have my own than "steal" yours. I would love if you could call me your best friend, Maz, but I understand that you think that you can only have one best friend. Though at the same time I don't, but I'm happy with the fact you even call me your friend, or even your close friend. But I want you two to know that to me, you two are my best friends. You two are sisters to me...Maz, you are like a twin sister, except you and I have different veiws about things, and you are blonde, British, and 7 months older than me, while Geno is like my older sister that I don't have. Anyway

I had to go to the Maya Angelou thing, and it was better tahn I thought it was going to be. She was really quite funny. ^^ I liked her, she was cool. OH! Maz, =) I got a fall Out Boy concert ticket!! mwhaha!! Hate me! XD Though I told Geno alreayd and she really hates me too, but don't worry ^^ I'll get you a tee shirt, and I'll try to get Pete's autograph, hope you don't mind sharing with Geno with that!

Anyway, I gotta go to bed, I'll finish this journal entry later

Why is it that during the last home softball for the seniors...that I cry? Did I cry for the senoirs? Yes, because someone I grew up with is leaving for college next year. Did I cry for myself? Yes, I did. I felt like I should've been out there standing in line with the other freshmen, to hug the senoirs...to be in the game. I don't think my mother nor father understand why I didn't want to go to the game. It pains my heart in ways only a softball girl would understand. Geno, Maz, imagine being told you two can't talk to each other. Or draw for two years because of your health. There ya go. XD Or you two can't listen to MCR. I dunno, I think that is enough.

I can't do it...I just can't take another year without softball...but of course, if I do it, then I won't be able to talk to Geno or Maz that much during the season...but...I need physical activies to help me get out my anger...blah...<< I'm being forced to go to a talking thing...her name is Maya Angelou...and we read the book I Know Why The Cage Bird Sings...so, yeah, and it's at 7...so you know...>< And the only way I can get out is if I have a sport conflict...And so my excuse is I have yoga class =D And I have a yoga game! To see who can be in the weirdest position longest! MWhahaha!! It's perfect I tell you! Perfect!

Now I must go to bed...blah

Wow oh wow oh wow...that was a great movie! X3!!! Though when I paused the movie to get up and bring the dogs in...guess what time it was! 9:14! XD It was so weird. And then I started seeing the number 23 a lot...it was weird. ThougH I liked the ending, but at the same time...I don't know...

o.o my mom and I might go shopping tomorrow...>< Nuuu!!! Me and Geno are supposed to play WoW!!! But I wanna go shopping ;-;...anyway, going to bed soon

...They don't understand...the more they make me get off, the more depressed I get. Do they not see how I'm falling? How I'm getting more and more sad? It's because they won't let me talk to them...I don't give a crud that I've never seen them in real life. You can be affected by someone you've never met, by someone you've only talked to through MSN. Maz and Geno...they are my best friends, they are like my sisters. I've told my mother, Geno is like an older sister I look up too, while Maz is like a twin...cept she was born 7 months earlier than me and she is blone and I'm brunette...XD But I should be blonde...no offence to any blonde out there.

I'm insane without those two...they are the two closest friends I've had. And I've trusted them in the most shortest amount of time. Hell, they are the only two people I freakin trust in my life. I did have Ashley, but she had to move away from my school...and I didn't trust her as much as I did Geno and Maz...but she was just the one in real life I could talk to about how life at home is...but now the fact is that I can't talk to Maz but for like...10 mins? And I can't talk or play WoW with Geno for just an hour? It's not fair...it's not...how long do they think I can take it anymore? I'm about to go insane...I need those two girls...talking to them for just 10 mins to an hour...doesn't help me...

And on lighter note, I was asked by Edge to go to home coming...XD And the thing he said after I said yes was "You do know that we aren't a couple right?" And I told him "Goodness Edge! You should've told me that about a couple years ago! I thought we've been dating for a while! Now you just broke my heart...XD" Quite funny...but it is on Saterday on Oct 6th

And on other lighter note, I'm Geno's and Maz's hoe! =) Can't wait till 2AM! XD We are goin to be the best trio ever! *laughs*....now, I must go to bed now...

1. Name one person who made you smile today. Geno and Maz
2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? wishing i was asleep
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? XD I think I was playing WoW
4. What is something that happened to you in 1998? I was 6...o.o and I was in 1st grade
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? I hate you, I really do
6. How many different things did you drink today? I drank Capri Sun, a yoohoo...XD and water
7. What color is your hairbrush? Silver
8. What was the last thing you bought? o.o umm...nothing
9. What was the last gift you received? *shrugs*
10. What color is your front door? Blue!
11. Where do you keep your money? in a wallet
12. What was the weather like today? Hot, rainy
13. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla
14. What are you excited about? Hopefully going to Norway
16. Name someone of the opposite sex you miss. Danny, Edge
17. Cold or hot? Cold
18. Are you very random? =) Very
19. Do you want to cut your hair? No
20. Are you over the age of 25? No, but my sould is
21. Do you talk a lot? Dependingly
22. What's your favorite thing to do? Talk to Maz and Geno
23. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?Nope
24. Do u know anyone named steven? yes
25. Do you make up your own words? Yeah
26. Are you ticklish? Yes
27. Are you typically a jealous person? Depends, I was jealous of Geno going to London...XD other than that, no
28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "K": ...XD Kelsey
29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "B": Ben
30.Who's the first person on your recieved calls list? Dunno
31. What did the last text message you received say? o.o...I didn't get one
32. Do you chew on your straws? Nope
33. Do you have curly hair? Sometimes
34. What is the next concert you're going to? I wanna go to Fall Out Boy! Or Within Temptation
35. Who is the crappiest person in your life?...<< My brother
36. How many times have you swore today? ^^;...*didn't count last entry*
37. What is something you say a lot? XD I dunno
38. What's your room like? Oh so messy
39. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'? nope
40. Do you have work tomorrow? no
41. What's your dream job? I would to be an actress.
42. When was the last time you said "I love you"?When I was saying good bye to Geno
43. When is the last time you played miniature golf? XD On my birthday
44. Do you have a nickname? Yes!
45. Are you a heavy sleeper? When i take my meds, yes
46. When was the last time you used a skateboard? a long time ago
47. What do you like to do? Many things
49. When was the last time you did the dishes, honestly? A couple weeks ago
50. Did you cry today? ^^ Yes

...that's it. That's fucking it. I can't take this shit anymore at home. I don't go to bed well so says my mom. Well I'm fucking sorry that I talking to Geno and Maz keeps me fucking sane. I'm so fucking sorry that I can't be your perfect little child that isn't sick, that does amazing in school, that is the most popular girl in school that talks to everyone, that always wants to go out to places. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M SO DAMN SORRY THAT I CAN'T BE YOUR FUCKING PERFECT CHILD!

...Hole by Kelly Clarkson kind of says what I feel...
Tired
Of everything around me
I smile
But I don't feel a thing no

I'm so far from where I need to be
I've given up on faith, on everything
All I want, all I need
Is some peace

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so cold
Slowly killing me

Secrets
Eating at the core of me
Shut off
Trusting all the lies I breathe

I'm so far from where I need to be
I've given up on faith, on everything
All I wanted, all I needed
Was some peace

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so damn cold
Slowly killing me

Sinking ever so slowly
So far from where I should be
No hands reaching out for me
Help me, help me

Something's gone
I can feel it
It's all wrong
I'm so sick of this

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so cold
Slowly killing me
There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so damn cold
Slowly killing me


...I'm so fucking sorry that I love Geno and Maz. I'm so fucking sorry for just being me. I'm so fucking sorry that being on the computer let's me escape. I'm so fucking sorry for every fucking thing I've done...YOU'RE BEING A BITCH! >< You assume things, you tell me things I already know! JUST SHUT UP! STOP TELLING ME THAT I HAVEN'T TAKEN MY MEDS! STOP TELLING ME WHAT MAKES YOU UPSET! JUST SHUT UP!!!!! I CAN"T DEAL WITH THIS! I CAN'T! Someone save me...from this hell...I can't take it...I really can't...no one understanding here...no one to hug me...no one...

I'm going to study in a different country when I'm in college...and I'm choosing Norway...and that's final...I don't fuckin care what my parents say about that. And I'm going to Norway even if my parents won't let me...if I don't see Geno or Maz...I will kill myself...or atleast die trying to get myself in Norway...

I'm always in pain...always...just always...my head is always hurting, my joints, my calfs, my feet...my shoulders...my neck...just everything...

Please...save me from this Hell...

XD I just read my two messages from Geno and Maz. And I have now came up with something. Me, Maz, and Geno...are now...=D The anorexia trio!! Because people think we are trying to be anorexic even though we just aren't hungry! *cheers* XD I swear we will get jackets, ladies.

*sighs* ....<< school should just freaking burn....honestly, I am now wishing I didn't choose to go to school. I mean, yeah, in a way, school has been good...but...hell, I'm nothing if I don't talk to Geno or Maz...I mean, those two kept me going through my hardest times...and they still do!...I mean, if I hadn't have met and talked to those two...only the Lord knows where the hell I would be at that point without them...maybe lost, confused, and friend-less..

Which brings me to something else...*sighs* I'm not myself around people at my school. Why? I don't know...<< honestly...anyway

o.o duuuudddeee....I've met a girl, like a long while back, and I love her and everything cause she is different...but some people she hangs out with...they ain't great. One is very...ugh...how should I put this? Bluntly...or nicely...blunt works.
He's an ass, a pervert, and shit like that.

He was in my Inkslinger meeting...Oo;...and he was cool in there, but when I was sitting out waiting for my dad, he was very rude...he asked me things about having sex with him, cursed a lot...Oo;...and then when I was with Alliya (All-i-yuh) and Lindsey...they were hanging out with him, and some of his friends, and I walked away cause I didn't wanna be with him...and he kept saying hey, hey, and said Negro and stuff....I flipped him off and kept walking...o.o I dunno what to do...I like hanging out with Alliya...but I don't like Lindsay that much (Can you say slut? though she is nice) But I don't wanna be around someone who...might give me a bad rep...I don't want that to happen again...I don't. And I dunno what to do...*sighs* -_-....whatever...

What the hell...what the hell!!!! I thought my parents understoon that sometimes I just can't eat!! That food sometimes make my stomach feel like I'm about to throw up! That sometimes I just don't get hungry! >< But to tell me that I should eat something, and to tell me that I'm going to have to get an IV because of this. HONESTLY!! I'm sick right now, I can't eat that much as I could! Honestly! And here I thought they understood, I know that they are worried about me! But no...>< they had to remind me, and tell me over and over that I need to drink, eat and all that stupid stuff.

GAH!!! >< And my dad knows that I ain't afriad of IVs....<< stupid...

Freak...I'm sick...*coughs and blows her nose* I'm not even that hungry...*sneezes* Anyway...yesterday after the football game, there was a dnace. Now, I do like dances, but...hearing rap after rap after rap song.....>< it got annoying...and when they played the same songs over. Gah...it sucked ass.

Me, Calley, and Jessie were talking. Calley hates dances just because guys don't ask her to dance. I told her to name one time that I danced with a guy at a dance that was asked by Hannah, you or other people asking them if they would like to dance with me. None.

And she told me that I'm opimistic...and I told her "What else am I going to be like? Negative? Calley, last year I had a extreme depression issue and I felt like no one liked me, all the guys thought I was ugly yadda yadda. And I don't ever want to go back there." And stuff....guys suck

And then I learned stuff bout Jessie...I would say it in here, but I can't. But it's not good...it happens to go with a guy using her, leading her on, breaking her heart. >< Guys think we girls are complecated...but we ain't...least we tell them when we like them so much...but then they break our hearts.

And plus, I do miss my old school....least girls there are bitches to your face, not like they are here. Where they are nice to your face and then bitches behind our backs. If you don't like someone TELL THEM! Honestly!!! I only trust a few people at my school...<< it took me almost a year before I started trusting Geno and Maz....*sighs*...I would be mean to the people and tell them what I really think, like Chandler, who was booty dancing in her cheerleading uniform...<< you could see her ass...I wanna tell her she looks like a whore...but my mom asked "What good would that bring? Chandler calling you things..." "But the good hopefully would be that her friends would agree...because there are many people at the school who thinks she is a slut"

I'll update this later when the day is over

Dah....school....sick...evil...><;.....I hate school sometimes

So...lemme see...lemme see...the first 3 days of school coming up.

Monday- So...we were on a very short time limint thing. 15 mins with each class. And I had to be there on time...or 2 mins late. Anyway, it was cool, yet....very mind blowing. We had homework in every single class....yes, you heard me. And we had the Dar games!! Mwhahaha!!! XD Our team kept getting 1st or 2nd! X3!!! Dunno who won though...^^; I made a fast friend already on that day! Her name is Linsey...o.o though...I do have info about her that didn't make me happy...but whatever, she learned her lesson.

Tuesday- XD Much weirder day! I was late to advisors...<< but I have no comment...and yeah...yesterday wansn't too big really....>< Met a girl I could just TELL (without judging..<< I talked to her some during lunch) who was going to be a mean girl...and she is...sorta...and she brags about drinking. Hello...<< GIRL! This is Dar!!!! You will be kicked out of school if people hear you saying all that!! >< Ugh!!!...and then I came to study hall late because I had to talk to one of the learning center people, and Mr. M said "You're late" and I told him why I was and he said "You're in big trouble now" And to let you guys know, sometimes, when I'm stressed, I dunno when people are kidding, and Britney(<< the girl I don't like) said that "Don't joke with her! She doesn't know when you are kidding!" I wanted to smack that girl and say "You don't even know me! B*@#^...XD" but I didn't say anything and just sat down and started my work...that simple.

TODAY! Was good...o.o but I didn't know I had to sit with my group during chapel...>< anyway....today was good...XD And in Spanish class my teacher said "Now, someone yesterday carved a dirty word into a desk. And he didn't even spell the dirty word correctly" XD That's when the whole class started laughing...honestly! 2 things. One. Who is stupid enough to do that And 2. XD Who is stupid enough to spell it WRONG?! It made my day!

OH!!! I signed up for InkSlinger!! X3!!! When I found out I could do it AND Community service, I couldn't stop smiling!!! And Mr. M works with InkSlinger, he was so amazed about how happy and stoacked I was to be able to do it!! I told him he made my day and I told him I loved him...XD His comment was funny...but I can't remember it...but this was on Tues...anyway

Now...I must go to bed....I'm dead tired...

GENO!!! *mega super ultra glomps* ...I miss you....and I miss Maz...*sighs*...*super glomps Maz in Spain somehow*

OO! I can't feel if something is cold or not in the palms of my hand!!...thought y'all should know

Oy vey...had to go to school so that I can find my classes...and I got to meet all my teachers and got to meet A LOT of school kids...o.o; what happened to the little 8th grade people that I'm used to seeing every day? It seems like every class I have is new kid after new kid...only in Biology Honors is where most of the kids I know is at...<< but it ain't kids I like....cept Sara Jessica and Stephiane....though I do like Brisha...but Ali...ugh...she acts like she hates Chandler...<< but then around her she acts like best friends with her...well, she did last year some I think...not like I was there to see it...but anyway. She tries to act like Jessie...and no one can act like Jessie but Jessie...it's annoying...honestly...

And guess what else could go wrong? I'm near Patricia...and her cheating boy friend Stephen with the lockers...UGH!!...<< I get to see them make out day after day..and the freaking hoe(Patricia) doesn't even believe her friends when they told her that he was cheating on her!...Ugh!

And great...Mansour is here...<< I don't like him that much....but Michael(Patricia's cousin) is here...he ain't that bad...I guess...but I only have my lunch period with him...which is good...XD It's only me, Michael, Mansour, Madline, and Owen (that we know of) whom we know...but there is this new girl Lindsay...We hit it off pretty quick! X3 I like making new friends...I introduce myself a lot to new people! XD Well...my mom did introduce at first, but I joined in when I could. So there! :p

I must turn girlish for a moment...ok? XD Guess what makes the day so much better besides the fact I get the hard, yet good teachers...

I'll make it easier on you guys by making it mulitple choice is it...

A) I got the best teacher ever

B) I got to have fun today

C) I have two hot German guys in my study hall, and one was checking me out

I'll give you a moment to choose....XD It's C!!! Really all of the above...but whatever! Yes...I have two smexi German boys in my study hall...and the one who I don't remember his name was checking me out!! I asked my mom if it was good checking out, or not so much. And he said he was smiling at me while he was looking...and my mom told me I was the hottest girl there...and which I told her I get it from you so I must thank you, or something like that. XD THen she was like 'What?' and I was like 'You made me this hot! XD I look like you! You made me look this way! I mean...dad did help, of course, by giving me his eyes...but still!" And to which she laughed and said "I'll take that as a compliment" It was pretty cool

And I got an ok on tennis shoes! X3 they are so cute! They are white and silver with a very pinkish look to them...but it isn't bright pink, tis very...sutle...anyway, I'm going to bed now, I have to get up and get some more shoes...<<; that much the uniform thing...XD And I need some more school stuff

I love you all! *huggles everyone* ^^

o.o;;; I had a dream...and Geno was in it...XD it was really cool...she was playing the electric guitar, and we were at this preppy place and people booed her and left, but she didn't care...just kept on playing. And the ones who liked what she was playing was still there...then she asked everyone to come near the stage and asked them if they wanted to be in a band...come to think about it...the people who were left...looked like some people from Sector E...o.o I was there....XD I dunno if I was just supporting Geno or what...OO! Maz was there though! :x3: She was the only blonde there! But I saw her!...<< but then right when I was going to talk to Geno and Maz...I woke up to my mom yelling for the dog....XD Stupid dog!


oh goodness....oh noes....o.o something is wrong with my left eye...something not good....very not good...oh please don't let something bad be...I'm taking a pill that could affect my eyes...o.o I don't want something to be wrong...but there is soemthing wrong...crud. I gotta get ready to go...

I'll update you later